Fake It 'Till You Make It...

Photo from fearless-selling.ca

I'm a big fan of the phrase "fake it 'till you make it" or the idea that we should live like the person that really want to be - even if we don't feel like it in the moment. This saying is actually an adaptation of a ancient quote by Aristotle about developing virtue, but in modern times we've taken it to mean that if we imitate the reality of what we want to be, then we'll eventually get there. Now, I should also say that my admiration of this phrase shouldn't construed as any kind of theological statement or application - I just like the phrase. Frankly, in stressful moments, I'd rather "fake" the right feeling or response than experience the regret or carnage that can happen if I insist on being "authentically Barb." Let me explain...

While I am flawed, I am also authentically kind, compassionate and loving. I think that my life record backs this up. Yet, at certain times, my authentic self can be downright cranky, caustic and even another -y word on occasion. When I am frustrated,  I can act out - especially when I forget that bad moments pass and life will upswing again.

What about the H-Word?
A few of you maybe wondering if "faking" it will lead to accusations of our favorite H-word: hypocrisy. I don't think so. In the context of this saying, someone who is "faking it until he or she makes it" believes in the ideals they are imitating AND they working toward authenticity, but they may not feel authentic in the moment. In my humble opinion, it is possible to make what author Lysa TerKeurst calls "imperfect process" toward a goal (ie. authenticity) without being accused of hypocrisy. Just because someone isn't perfect, doesn't make him or her a hypocrite, it just makes them human. Conversely, a hypocrite doesn't really believe in the ideals he or she is imitating, they just want others to think they do. Am I a hypocrite because I "fake" being a nice mom to my kids on days when I feel selfish? No. I believe in being a generous and sacrificial mom and so on days when I don't feel like it, I willingly fake it. And for me, it's totally the right thing to do. Why? Because I know that my temporary wrong feelings will pass and I will find my way back to my authentic self. "Faking" it keeps me from creating unnecessary regret in those bad moments.

"Faking" Still Requires Effort...
I would love to just wallow in contentment for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why? Because, I love it when I feel content. When I am content, there is no angst or strife over missed expectations or let down when people disappoint me. Alas, I really have to work hard at being content. So, for me, "faking" contentment means that I must do the things that contented people do:

• I constantly recognize and give thanks for my blessings;
• I don't look around and obsess about what others have that I don't;
• I am a good steward of what I do have and recognize that God won't bless me with more unless I honor Him with what I already have.

Here's the funny thing about "faking it"...when I do the things I don't really feel like do, I discover that eventually, I develop the feelings and attitude that I had hoped for all along. "Faking" still requires action - it's not passive. Skeptics might say that if something is fake, that it can never be real. Well, that is true of anything that doesn't have a will of its own, but humans are different. Unlike cubic zirconium or vegan leather, we can be changed and transformed into that which we've always hoped or dreamed we could be. However, we don't always feel like making progress, but "faking it" fills in the gap until we eventually feel that which we truly want to be.

What do you need to "fake" toward today?



Scriptural Inspiration: In Philippians 3, the Apostle Paul was talking with Christians about keeping a 10,000 ft perspective on life's difficulties and struggles. After recounting - then discounting - his esteemed pedigree, Paul acknowledges that he is human and makes mistakes. Considering all that the apostle endured, we can be certain that the Apostle Paul had some tough moments in life. Yet, in Philippians 3:14, Paul provides the big-picture purpose of his life, which should inspire us as we think why we are on this planet: "I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."