Fake It 'Till You Make It...

Photo from fearless-selling.ca

I'm a big fan of the phrase "fake it 'till you make it" or the idea that we should live like the person that really want to be - even if we don't feel like it in the moment. This saying is actually an adaptation of a ancient quote by Aristotle about developing virtue, but in modern times we've taken it to mean that if we imitate the reality of what we want to be, then we'll eventually get there. Now, I should also say that my admiration of this phrase shouldn't construed as any kind of theological statement or application - I just like the phrase. Frankly, in stressful moments, I'd rather "fake" the right feeling or response than experience the regret or carnage that can happen if I insist on being "authentically Barb." Let me explain...

While I am flawed, I am also authentically kind, compassionate and loving. I think that my life record backs this up. Yet, at certain times, my authentic self can be downright cranky, caustic and even another -y word on occasion. When I am frustrated,  I can act out - especially when I forget that bad moments pass and life will upswing again.

What about the H-Word?
A few of you maybe wondering if "faking" it will lead to accusations of our favorite H-word: hypocrisy. I don't think so. In the context of this saying, someone who is "faking it until he or she makes it" believes in the ideals they are imitating AND they working toward authenticity, but they may not feel authentic in the moment. In my humble opinion, it is possible to make what author Lysa TerKeurst calls "imperfect process" toward a goal (ie. authenticity) without being accused of hypocrisy. Just because someone isn't perfect, doesn't make him or her a hypocrite, it just makes them human. Conversely, a hypocrite doesn't really believe in the ideals he or she is imitating, they just want others to think they do. Am I a hypocrite because I "fake" being a nice mom to my kids on days when I feel selfish? No. I believe in being a generous and sacrificial mom and so on days when I don't feel like it, I willingly fake it. And for me, it's totally the right thing to do. Why? Because I know that my temporary wrong feelings will pass and I will find my way back to my authentic self. "Faking" it keeps me from creating unnecessary regret in those bad moments.

"Faking" Still Requires Effort...
I would love to just wallow in contentment for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why? Because, I love it when I feel content. When I am content, there is no angst or strife over missed expectations or let down when people disappoint me. Alas, I really have to work hard at being content. So, for me, "faking" contentment means that I must do the things that contented people do:

• I constantly recognize and give thanks for my blessings;
• I don't look around and obsess about what others have that I don't;
• I am a good steward of what I do have and recognize that God won't bless me with more unless I honor Him with what I already have.

Here's the funny thing about "faking it"...when I do the things I don't really feel like do, I discover that eventually, I develop the feelings and attitude that I had hoped for all along. "Faking" still requires action - it's not passive. Skeptics might say that if something is fake, that it can never be real. Well, that is true of anything that doesn't have a will of its own, but humans are different. Unlike cubic zirconium or vegan leather, we can be changed and transformed into that which we've always hoped or dreamed we could be. However, we don't always feel like making progress, but "faking it" fills in the gap until we eventually feel that which we truly want to be.

What do you need to "fake" toward today?



Scriptural Inspiration: In Philippians 3, the Apostle Paul was talking with Christians about keeping a 10,000 ft perspective on life's difficulties and struggles. After recounting - then discounting - his esteemed pedigree, Paul acknowledges that he is human and makes mistakes. Considering all that the apostle endured, we can be certain that the Apostle Paul had some tough moments in life. Yet, in Philippians 3:14, Paul provides the big-picture purpose of his life, which should inspire us as we think why we are on this planet: "I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

Life.Money.Hope.

How much time do you spend each day thinking about money? It doesn't matter if you have a lot of money or a little bit of money, I'd wager that you spend at least half of your waking hours thinking about buying, spending, saving, investing, giving, borrow, maybe even betting money.

What if money is a painful topic for you...
So many of you are on a financial rollercoaster: you're elated when you get paid because you finally have money to survive, but it runs out too soon, so you spend 1 1/2 of every 2 weeks waiting to get paid again. Furthermore, you're frustrated because you know that all of your hard work wasn't going to be enough to cover your expenses - and you feel like you have nothing to show for your life. At some point, you might even feel like you are losing hope. Hang in there! There is HOPE...

Hope is a Powerful Thing...
I just finished teaching a "Life.Money.Hope." ** three-week series at a central city location in Toledo. On the last night of class, a single mom came up to me with tears flowing down her face because for the first time, she had information and confidence that she could change her family's financial future. And, she wasn't the only energized person in the room. There was an incredible buzz on the last night of that class. Why? For the first time in their lives, those class participants realized that they could actually "win" with money - and they didn't need complicated finanical formulas or risky strategies. These men and women were armed with straight-forward, proven financial principals that gave them what they needed most...HOPE!

Take Some "Baby Steps" to Winning with Money!
Best-selling author and tv host, Dave Ramsey has developed the "Seven Baby Steps" to get anyone  - including you - back on track financially. It doesn't matter how bad things are, little baby steps in the right direction can make a HUGE difference!

Ramsey's Seven Baby Steps (link to article: http://www.daveramsey.com/new/baby-steps/)
1. Save $1000 as fast as you can! (For household incomes less than $20k, save $500.)
2. Use "debt snowball" to pay off debt.
3. Save 3-6 months of expenses in Emergency Savings Account
4. Invest 15% of pre-tax income
5. College funding (if applicable)
6. Pay off home early
7. Build wealth and give

If you haven't done so already, make it a priority to get Baby Step #1 done as soon as possible. You won't believe how amazing you'll feel when there's cushion between you and that next emergency - which is going to happen. But, saving that initial $1000 is just the beginning...

I'm a huge fan of Dave Ramsey and his Financial Peace University program. Over 1 million people nationwide have taken his 9-week class - the average family pays off $5300 and saves over $2500 over a three-month period. Check out www.daveramsey.com for more details and locations to register for FPU or you can watch this promo video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVXaBTARD7k

By the way, CedarCreek's Financial Peace University classes begin the week of February 11, so if you are in Northwest Ohio, check out our website for more details.


**Life.Money.Hope. is a three-week Dave Ramsey taught as a guest speaker at LifeChurch.tv in Oklahoma City in 2009. You can check out Lifechurch.tv's site for the free videos.

Help for Mr. & Mrs. Grumpypants...

Struggling with a bad attitude? Life not turning out like you'd planned? Perhaps, there is ONE question you could ask that might just change your attitude and outlook on your situation...

On March 3, 2011, an 11-year girl named Jessie Rees was diagnosed with an inoperable, incurable brain tumor. The doctors told her parents that Jessie had 12-18 months to live. The family chose a treatment plan in hopes of extending her life. While undergoing out-patient radiation treatment, Jessie learned that some of the kids had to remain in the hospital for weeks and months while they recieved their treatments. Even though radiation was difficult, Jessie was worried about those children who couldn't go home. After leaving the hospital one day, Jessie asked her parents a very important question: "How can we help them?"

Jessie went home and filled up brown paper lunch sacks with stuffed animals and extra toys and asked her dad to take those sacks back to the hospital for the other kids. Jessie's dad called the hospital and was granted permission to deliver the toys, but instead of paper bags, the toys had to be put into glass jars. Those jars were an instant hit! Eventually, Jessie named her creations "Joy Jars" - because her middle name was "Joy." While her life would be cut short, the most important thing in Jessie's mind was devoting time and energy to helping others.

Sadly, Jessie passed away 10 months after her diagnosis on January 5, 2012. Before she died, Jessie filled 3,000 Joy Jars and started the Never Give Up Foundation (NEGU), now called the Jessie Rees Foundation.* In the past year, over 30,000 Joy Jars have been distributed to hospitals and Ronald McDonald Houses all over the country.

Consider a different approach to dealing with life...
When we're going through difficult times or struggling with our relationships, the idea of seeking out opportunities to help others is often the last thing on our minds. We believe that we must direct 100% of our time, resources, mental energy and worrying toward trying to overcome our challenges or troubles. Yet, what would happen if we carved out just an hour or two a week to ask another person: "What can I do to help you?"

Goodbye Mrs. Grumpypants... 
When things don't go my way - or when people disappoint me - I can get kinda grumpy. So, this past summer was my 20th wedding anniversary and I was really excited. Yet, my husband and I were never able to commit to any travel plans. It was a huge disappointment for me and I got angry.  My mind was filled with phrases like, "It's not fair" and "I deserve..." I wasn't getting what I wanted and no amount of effort could change the situation.

A few days after our anniversary, my sister-in-law and niece were in a horrific car accident. My niece spent long periods of time in an induced-coma and had so many surgeries we lost count. In the weeks that followed the accident, I had the opportunity to ask the question, "How can I help?"  Asking that simple question drew me out of my selfishness and actually improved my attitude toward the things in my life that I couldn't change. It got me out of my own head and engaged me with what was happening around me. I felt great because I knew that I was making a difference in someone else's life. Here's a truth I remembered: Making a difference is ALWAYS better than getting my own way.

Asking the question, "What can I do to help?" doesn't diminish the significance of your problems!
I know that some of you have your backs against the wall in some area or another of your life. Making yourself available to help someone else isn't just good for them - in fact, it's critically important for you and your healthy attitude toward the things in life that you might not be able to change. 

 "No one can do everyone, but everyone can do something."

SCRIPTURAL INSPIRATION: In Matthew 20, Jesus was talking to the disciples about his impending death and patiently listening to them while they mounted a power play in hopes of an enhanced position in the kingdom. No doubt, having full-knowledge of what was to come must have been a stressful mental and emotional burden. Yet, Jesus does not lose sight of his mission and the following words inspire servant-leaders all over the world today:  ^"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)


 

*For more information about Joy Jars and to watch Jessie's story, here is the link: http://www.negu.org/